At times, I have had hesitations about sitting down to start writing about family life. As a father, there have been many times where I have failed as the spiritual head of my home to take care of the spiritual health of my family. More times than I would like to admit, my words towards my children and my wife have not been “useful for building up” (Ephesians 4:29) or “seasoned with salt” but instead have been unbridled (James 1:26) and careless (Matthew 12:36). I did not grow up in a home that instilled in me what it looks like to follow Christ faithfully as a family. Writing is typically reserved for the experts and by no account of credentialing, experience, or example do I fit the classification of “expert” on family life. While some might see this as a reason to stop reading, it is actually this context that helps to establish a framework through which my purpose for writing can be better understood.
I am not an authority on family life. I don’t have the capacity to tell you everything your family is doing wrong (and implicitly everything my family must be doing right). I am not a sage on family life. I won’t be able to provide you with answers on how you might solve all the problems you might be encountering in your family. I am not a builder of the family. I do not have a blueprint of the family that lays out all the dimensions of the family that you and every family should replicate. I am not an expert on family life and there is nothing that I can point you in myself that might convince you that I have a kind of special knowledge to give you about the family.
I am, however, a brother in Christ and I am in the throes of family life, just as you are. And I deeply desire both my family, and yours, to grow into the fullness of all that our families have been created to be in Christ, for the glory of God and for the good of our neighbors. From a worldly standard, this may feel inadequate, but I believe that can be something of deep value to a brotherly encouragement. In much of my life as a Christian, some of the most defining moments have been when, in the out workings of divine providence, a brother or sister in Christ has given me a word of encouragement, reflection, rebuke, or truth that I have desperately needed to hear. As a brother in Christ, my greatest prayer is that the Lord will use me, in all my feebleness, to do something of the same for you and for your family.
The purpose of Family of the Liturgy is not to give you all the answers for your family circumstances, but is to encourage and help you, and your family, to draw near to God through the rhythms of worship that he calls us into. The things we write about, the resources we develop, the encouragement we provide will be primarily situated to that end. The honest truth is that I don’t know what you should do about your circumstances. Any wisdom I have on fixes in your circumstances is at best a shot in the dark. I could tell you what I would do and I will certainly offer suggestions from time to time that have borne fruit in my own family. But it is far better for you to first entrust yourself and your family to the one who not only knows the answer, but knows you, knows your family, and knows every dynamic that is woven through it. You may feel skeptical. It may be unclear as to how participating in worship is going to heal the brokenness of your marriage. You may not yet understand how joining the rhythms of the church life will improve the relationship of siblings who seem deeply at odds with one another. Your first instinct may not be to sing hymns when you are troubled by the trajectory of your child’s life. I get that. But the goal of Family of the Liturgy is not to give you the fix to your problems. The goal is to help you bring your family to the one who is able. The reality is that He may not change your circumstances, and in fact, a change in your circumstances may not be exactly what you need right now. But through the rhythms of worship, He will change you and your family, and that is something we all desperately need. This is the purpose of this ministry, to call you to God through the liturgy.
A few quick notes regarding this word “liturgy” as I know that for some it may be a bit of a barrier. Is not “liturgy” a word reserved for Roman Catholics? Liturgy is catholic (meaning universal), but it is not exclusively Roman Catholic. I mean this in two ways. Liturgy simply means “patterns of public worship” and under this definition it is pretty easy to see that every church has a liturgy. The patterns might look different in a lot of ways, some churches stand up, sing three songs and then listen to a sermon, some have more rituals, but there is no such thing as a patternless church. Liturgy then is catholic in that it applies to everyone. Second, liturgy is also catholic in that we can recognize that there is a particular pattern of public worship that has been embodied by the church in different customary expressions throughout history. This pattern is embodied today in both Protestant and Roman Catholic churches alike. In my writing, I will be writing, rather unapologetically, from an Anglican pattern of worship. I continue to believe that this is the best expression of catholicity in the liturgy. However, these need not scare you off. I will be writing with great sensitivity and nuance to understand the depth and variation of liturgical expression. I greatly desire a revival of godliness in our families and subsequently culture and I desire that to be a catholic revival not necessarily an Anglican one. Therefore, there will be plenty of breathing room for one to adapt and apply much of the discussion to non-Anglican liturgies, though I do anticipate some squeamishness for some of my Baptist brethren as I talk about the sacraments. Nevertheless, my hope is that this idea will find comfort in a variety of church backgrounds and settings.
Our liturgy finds its fullness in the gathered worship of believers and extends into the lives of our homes. Through participation in these rhythms of worship, both in the church and in your home, your family, with all of its mess, all of its failures, all of its struggle, in the name of Christ, will draw near with boldness and confidence before the Lord of God asking for His hand of mercy in your life. Asking him to restore and heal the hurt that has existed within your home. Seeking his nourishment and guidance to navigate the troubling terrain. Petitioning his strength to endure and persevere through the trials and uncertainties of the moment. Reflecting on His marvelous deeds through the day, through the week, and throughout the history of your life and the life of the world. Subjecting ourselves to the spiritual gifts that He has given to the members in His church. Through these rhythms, God will transform our hearts, renew our minds, and will greatly deepen our life in Christ so that whatever we might encounter in this world, you will be thoroughly prepared for every good work. In my best estimation, this is the greatest need of your family.
And what does the Scripture say?
He is faithful. To not do so would be for Him to deny himself, which He can not do. (2 Timothy 2:13) He who did not withhold his own Son, but gave him up for all of us, will he not with him also give us everything else? (Romans 8:32) If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him? (Luke 11:13) And this is the boldness we have in him, that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. (1 John 5:14)
May the God of Light bring forth richness in your home, forming all of its members in the image of His Son Jesus Christ through whom we find our place in the family of God and heirs of His eternal kingdom. May our worship be for the glory of God and the building of His church that we might be presented blameless on His return. May our families find its greatest nourishment, stability, and comfort, in the liturgical rhythms of our home. Amen.
